Leaving the comfort, safety, and stability of my home, my circle of support, and my routined lifestyle brings all sorts of mixed feelings. The unknown and uncertainty of traveling outside that comfort zone is terrifying yet simultaneously exhilarating.
Leading up to this day, I’ve felt heartache soaking up last moments with my family and friends and eating all my favorite American food and traditions. The waiting period before I left brought nerves and anxiety and sleepless nights but it also brought nights so excited I felt I couldn’t wait any longer.
I’ve experienced many of those “Both/And” moments where I could be saddened to leave my life at home while still so ready to leave it all. I’ve learned that life just works that way. It’s the highs and lows and all the things in between sometimes all at the same time.
I cannot wait for Thailand to expand and stretch me in ways I never thought possible. Through this process so far, I’ve had to continuously affirm to myself that:
1. I am not dying. I get to come back to my old life after all of this just maybe a transformed and changed person.
2. I am a big girl and I can do hard, scary things. Like moving to a new foreign country without my parents and not knowing anyone prior.
These four months are going to be extremely hard but they are also going to be some of the most memorable and adventurous months of my life. Here’s to growth, independence, and living life from next right thing to next right thing, one thing at a time.