March 30th marks two years since I decided to reach out for help. It marks the day I sat down in that therapy office even when I was feeling uncomfortable shame and stigma. I was a girl that felt so powerless, so desperate, so helpless, and so alone in the depths of my own misery. It feels like a lifetime ago seeing where I stand today.
On this anniversary, I am feeling all sorts of emotions. I am feeling relief that I took the leap and did the scary thing even when everything within me didn’t want to be there. I am feeling overjoyed gratitude reflecting on the growth and change I have made within myself. I am feeling deep appreciation for my therapist and all she has done standing by my side. I am feeling grief for the girl that I once was. I am feeling unashamed love for the thing that society labels so negatively – therapy.
Therapy is cool. My happy place is sitting in that therapy office where I can bare my soul in a safe place without any judgement or criticism. My therapist holds space for me at my worst as I work endlessly to be my best. I am a strong believer that if everyone had a therapist, this world would be a better place.
Recently, as we have reflected together on how far I have come in these two years, we joke that she practically raised me. Not in a manner of disrespect for my own wonderful parents but because in that office, on that couch, I was rebirthed from the girl I once was. I painfully shed all of the layers that no longer served me and I came out anew while she sat with me, guided me, and taught me to become this powerful, badass of a woman.
The thing is, I walked into that office on March 30th, 2017 feeling small, worthless and as if I had no power or strength to give to the world. My therapist didn’t give me that power, but rather she showed me that it was within me all along and I just had to tap into it. Now, I use my power to empower. I use my voice to share my story and share my light in hopes to reach those feeling powerless and lost like I once did.
Listen to Episode 10 of my podcast where I go deeper into the stigmas of therapy.
